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Many of the people who go into direct
marketing and, especially those who go into internet direct
marketing, do so because they have "Walter Mitty"
personalities. A Walter Mitty type person is a guy who
dreams grandiosely in his mind's eye about doing heroic
things. Like maybe playing in The Superbowl. Or dating a
stunning model like Claudia Schiffer…

Believe it or not, I'm not being judgmental
about these type people. I'm just being objective. Truth be
told, in many ways, I'm somewhat a Walter Mitty type person
myself.

So, direct marketing, and especially online
direct marketing, has great appeal for these type people.
They can create advertising and say things about themselves,
their products, or…

How much would you pay for a SECRET
GUARANTEE to multiply your profit? A hundred thousand
dollars? Ten thousand dollars? A thousand dollars? Fear not, you Lesser
Shitweasel! I'm going to reveal (for free) a way you can multiply your
profits by spending nothing (or at the most, maybe $100
per month).

Here's the thing: When people buy from a
sales pitch (ESPECIALLY an internet sales pitch) they have a
deep-rooted fear if anything goes wrong, they will
never be able to communicate with anyone from that business. They fear this for good reason.
The good reason
is, it's most often true. Actually, on the internet, it's almost…

Think about it: Buying something over the internet is truly
a leap of faith. All the customer usually knows about the seller is
their email address. The customer doesn't know if the seller
is male or female; a
pillar of the community or a fraud. The customer doesn't
know where the seller is located; they don't have…

Most internet marketers are "lurkers". They're
hiding in a dark closet in their underwear taking
amphetamines and grinning like 8-year-old boys who have just
dropped a lizard down the blouse of one of their female
classmates. They exult in the fact they can come off like
Superman... when... they are really nothing more than pathetic,
anorexic-looking…

OK, maybe I'm exaggerating just a little
about internet marketers. But here's what all marketers -
internet or otherwise - should do to increase their sales.

All Marketers Should Give All Their
Prospective Customers

Enough SPECIFIC Details About
Themselves And Their Business...

It Convinces Them That, If Necessary,
They Could

"Reach Out And Touch The Marketer"

One way to do this is to simply give your
physical address. You can improve on that by giving out your
real business telephone number.

Let's take that a step further. What if in
our ad we spelled it all out like this:

"Our little company, ABC Widgets, Inc.
is located at 123 Elm Street in Massillon, Ohio. Our ZIP
Code is
44646. Our toll-free order-taking phone number is 1-800-xxx-xxxx.
You can reach an operator there any time, 24…

Most of you reading this can't even begin
to imagine...

How POWERFUL An Addition

Those FEW Words Will Be

To Your Sales Pitches!

And all of you should know this: Only a
tiny, tiny percentage of your customers will actually ever
visit you or even telephone you. But, all of your would-be
customers will be greatly comforted by…

Now comes the stupid question which I am
sure is forming in the minds of many of my readers:

"But
gosh Gary, I don't have a store. I don't have an office. Besides,
I want to remain anonymous. What am I supposed to do?"

Looky here, you brainless twit. You can do
this and still remain anonymous. And, without lying.

If you do have an office or a store, just
publicize it in the way I just described.

If you don't have an office or a store, just
spend $100 (or less) per month to get yourself a little 100
square foot office…

"Hi, you've reached ABC
Widgets Incorporated. We're busy right now but if you'll
leave your name and number, we'll get right back with you."

Then, of course, get right back to them yourself. Or if
you're truly a gutless wonder, pay somebody a minimum wage
to retrieve and make these return phone calls for you…

Just think what you will have achieved by
doing what I just suggested: You will have implanted in the
minds of all your would-be customers that they know where
you are, and that they can visit or telephone you almost any
time they chose. In other words, they'll know they can...

Reach Out And Touch You!

I hate giving out valuable advice like this
which I know so few of you will follow.

Specifically yours,

Gary C. Halbert

P.S. As you can tell by reading my personal ad, and by the
fact I planned an "escape route" for Caleb, and by the fact
I have a beautiful and non-toxic…

1) The POSITIVE kind: "Oh
Yes! Oh Yes!"

2) The NEGATIVE kind:
"Oh No! Oh No!"

3) The SPIRITUAL kind:
"Oh God! Oh God!"

4) The FAKE kind:
"Oh Gary! Oh Gary!"

P.S. #2 Even I am not conceited enough to believe this. Any
man who believes it is a complete fool. Would you like to
know the specific…

Blind Luck!

P.S. #3 There's another valuable but "hidden" lesson
in this newsletter. Hark unto me! We live in a complicated,
insane and frightening world. And in my opinion, none of us
have a ghost of a chance... unless...

We Can Laugh Good Naturedly At Ourselves!

Peace.

# 2005 - 07-27-05

From:

North of Jewfish Creek

Dear Friend & Subscriber,

In this newsletter, we are going to talk about
what makes "Can You Guess Part II?" ("A Valentine For
Jessica") such a good piece of writing.

I've already given you the reason why Part I and
Part III of the "Can You Guess" series were so
successful. Remember... the answer
was...

Specificity

But that is NOT the answer with "A Valentine For
Jessica". And, for those of you who haven't guessed already,
it was me who wrote "A Valentine For Jessica".

When I wrote that little essay, I'm not sure
exactly why I did it. I think mostly I wrote it because so many
people were always commenting about "The Gary Halbert Style"
of writing. I think all good writers do develop a "style" of
their own. But I think what I wanted to prove was, a really
good writer…