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Look, I don't mind you are all shitweasels.
In fact, as the Alpha Shitweasel, I'm rather proud of that.
However, I have no patience whatsoever with LAZY-MINDED
shitweasels. So, if you are too mentally lethargic to make
an immediate guess as to why the ad worked... don't send me
an email. If there are enough of…

You know why from time to time I write a
"kick-the-anthill" newsletter like this?

I do it for the same reason a dog licks his
balls. It's because I can.

Sincerely,

Gary C. Halbert

"Supreme Master of Politically Correct Communications"

P.S. If you're going to reply, send your email to me at
[email protected].

P.P.S. If you're not going to reply, why don't you just stop
reading this newsletter altogether and take up bowling?

Peace.

# 2005 - 11-21-05

From:

North of Jewfish Creek

Dear Friend & Subscriber

Here at long last, is the complete story of
the "water ad". I think you're going to find it was worth
waiting for.

It all began when a friend of mine from
Colorado called me. He told me about this remarkable new
invention (the water bottle featured…

Then this friend arranged a telephone
meeting between the CEO (DuSean Berkich) and myself. He and
I hit it off on the phone and I agreed to go to Irvine,
California and take on the job of promoting this product. They paid me a very generous weekly salary,
a new car to drive, and a furnished apartment to live in…

There's a lot more to this story than just
the writing of the ad. But, I'm going to start with that
part of it (the writing).

First of all, you need to know what I was
trying to accomplish with that ad.

As you may or may not
know, when a company wants to "go public" there is a 45-day
"quiet period" they must obey after they have made their
initial filing to go public with the Securities and Exchange
Commission. In other words, they cannot send out press
releases or hype their company in any way during this 45-day…

However, at that period in time, Seychelle
Technologies had not filed with the SEC. And according to
their lawyer, it was legally okay for me to write an ad
talking about the company. So the purpose of the ad was to
generate an enormous amount of interest from people who
would want to invest in the company after it had…

I did an enormous amount of research before
I started writing the ad. I learned so much about water from
the scientist, Carl Palmer, it literally astonished me.

You should also know Seychelle's lawyer
vetted and okayed every single word of the ad.

Here Is The First Big Secret Of The Ad:

I want you to imagine you are at a very high
class cocktail party in New York City. And a
gorgeous young woman is there who is being courted by almost
every man at the party. Each of them chat her up to the best
of their ability. They are all…

One guy talks about his show business
connections and how he could get her jobs as an actress in
several different movies.

Another guy tells her that he represents
models and she is so beautiful if they worked together,
he could almost assure her she would be on the cover of
almost every popular magazine in America.

Several other guys try to impress her with
how much money they have. They talk about the companies they
own, the yachts they have as play toys, the Ferraris,
Lamborginies and Rolls Royces they drive, and how their
wealth is so obscene, they and anybody connected with them,
will never again have to worry about anything to do with
money…

A couple guys are just drop-dead good
looking and they try to attract
her with their wit, good
looks and animal magnetism.

None of this seems to work on her very well.

Then a youngish, somewhat unattractive man
walks over to her and whispers a few words in her ear. Her
face brightens with a 1,000 megawatt smile…

What was the difference that made him
successful while everyone else struck out? It's very simple:
You see...

He Knew A Secret About Her...

He Knew She Had A Secret Desire!

And when you're trying to sell something
there is no more powerful piece of ammunition you can have
than to know someone's real deep-down core…

In this case, the young woman was a heroine
addict. And this man recognized her as such.

What he whispered in her ear was simply, "Hey, look down here in my
hand. I just scored some of the best smack in New York City.
You want to get high with me?"

And, of course, she's up and out of the room
like a rocket.

It's worth repeating: There is no more of an
edge in marketing (and life) than... knowing the
hidden desires of the people you are trying to sell.

Each and every group of people... doctors,
psychiatrists, policemen, mothers, plumbers, etc. have certain desires and knowledge that is not
shared by other groups of people.

There's a couple books I would like to
recommend to you. The first one is called "What Cops Know".
It was written by a woman named Connie Fletcher and I think
you can…

Cops also know if they look in your medicine
cabinet and find a common product
Dermaplast you are probably a man who abuses his wife and children.
That's because this is the cosmetic product most useful in
hiding the bruises caused by abusive beatings.

If I had to market something to policemen, I
would read this book before I wrote a single word because I
would want to know as much about them as I could before I
tried to market something to them.

The second book I'd like to recommend to you
is the "Rice Diet Report" written by Judy Moscovitz. This…

Why Am I Laboring On This So Long?

It has to do with the fact I know a lot
about the people who read "Investors Business Daily."

Have you looked at the "Wall Street Journal"
lately? It has become a "fat" publication with all kinds of
articles that do not relate to investing. It's almost
getting to the point…