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We would've also made a profit with a 15%
response!

We would've also made a profit with a 10%
response!

We would've also made a profit with a 7%
response!

Now, if you really, really honestly want to
make money on the Internet with all the bullshit taken out of
it, here's what you do: (1…

Run It In Print!

A newspaper. A magazine. Don't run it on the
'Net. You're not ready for that yet. You can make a lot
of money getting leads from the 'Net but, don't try to do it
until you're ready.

Next, you write and then type up the best
sales letter you can. Then, you…

All Of That Detracts

From Sales!

Another little thing: Make your website/letter
easy-to-read. That means high-contrast. Don't put blue words
against a purple background. I am constantly amazed at how
much money (zillions) is spent on advertising which is almost
impossible to read. If you have a computer and, you haven't
done it recently…

You Will Notice That Car!

Now listen: The first time you try to
use this formula, don't let any of your customers order any
way except by phone. Use closing copy something like this:

"Before you
decide to buy this product, there is one more
important thing about it you should know. This is
something we don't publish…

Is this the best way to sell stuff on the
'Net? No. Is it the best way for a beginner to sell something
on the 'Net? Yes. If you've been using a computer for 20-years
and, you are still not making money with it, you are a beginner.

Here's another idea for a lead-generating ad:

Is This Fair?

Did you know people with a personal computer get
much lower prices when they have their carpets cleaned than
people who don't have a computer? The reason this is true is
legal but, it is not fair. You can find out why (if you have a PC…

www.dumbjoe.com

By the way, what I just wrote may or may not work. That doesn't matter. What
does matter is you've just been given an idea which should "spark"
your imagination.

We know lots of people will read this little ad and they'll go
to your website and the first thing they see is a…

The Amazing Reason People With Personal Computers
Pay Less

To Get Their Carpets Cleaned Than People Without PC's In Their Homes!

Underneath that headline is a sales letter... that looks
like a sales letter that explains using a website (properly) to get new
customers lowers advertising costs which we here at Dumb Joe's Carpet Cleaning
pass on to…

How much should it cost you to set up this website? About
$160.00 if you do it yourself and about $300.00 if you have someone else do
it.

Why should you only take orders by phone at the beginning?
Because, probably, you don't know how to write a really good sales letter. Few
people do. Just by…

What about running your lead-generator in print instead of on
the 'Net? Here's the reason: The leads you get from print are going to be of much
higher quality than those you get from the 'Net... and... you're going to need
the highest-quality leads possible until you can write really good sales
letters. Plus, the thing…

Get You Born!

What's that? You say you already know how to write or at least
recognize a good sales letter? What horseshit. I bet you couldn't recognize a
good sales letter if it fell out of the sky, landed on your face and riggled.
In fact, I bet you don't even know what you get if…

Here's a test: Joe Polish sent out a mailing to promote a
seminar. Unlike most of Joe's promotions, this one, for whatever reason,
didn't get him enough seminar attendees. He needed emergency help. He
called me. I wrote the following letter and he sent it immediately to his
entire list which has a sizable percentage of Halbert…

Dear Friend,

As you can see, there is a $1.00 bill attached to
the top of this letter.

Why? Well, my name is Gary Halbert and attaching
a dollar bill to letters is a trick I've been using for years whenever
I absolutely must get someone's attention.

Like now.

You may not know it but, in a way, you hold the
key to how happy I'm going to be this summer.

Listen: as you probably know, Joe Polish and I
have been best friends for several years. But, there is a lot of
differences between us. For one thing: he's thirty and I just turned…

But, you know what?
In spite of that, I can still bench press more than him. I've got just
as much energy as he does too. And personally, I think I'm actually
sharper than him. In fact, to tell the truth, in spite of our 30-year
age difference, there's only one area where he has an…

Viagra!

So what's this got to do with you?

I'll be happy to explain. Look, you know Joe is a
sharp guy... and... you know he has taught thousands of carpet
cleaners how to make a ton of extra money. You know, he's a very sharp
marketing guy.

But, sometimes, he gets to thinking he's better
than he is. Sometimes, he actually thinks he's as good as me. We were
having an argument last week and I got really pissed off so, I finally
told him:

"If I
wanted to, I could talk to any of your Piranha Members for just 45
minutes and, after that…

"Prove
it," he said.

"OK, I
will," I told him, "only
this time I'm not gonna do it for free. This time you're going to have
to pay."

You see, because we are friends, I've never
charged Joe for me speaking at one of his boot camps or letting him
interview me or anything like that. But…

You Go To Rio!

That's what I'm gonna do and I'm going to sucker
Joe into paying for my entire trip.

Here's the deal: I don't know if you are signed
up for Joe's next boot camp or not but, you better be because here's
what I'm going to do. I'm…

Then, I'm going to take the mike and I'm going to
teach you a few things you've never heard before. I'm going to reveal
money-making secrets Joe Polish has never dreamed about.

He doesn't even have a clue.