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And the REAL answer, the STAND OUT feature of my personal
ad was...

SPECIFICITY

For example, when I described myself, I
did so
specifically, very specifically. Matter of fact, I described
myself so well, the women I met as a result of my ad were
able to recognize me immediately (even though they had not
seen a physical picture of…

You know, I've often wondered about people
who lie about their age and appearance in personal ads. How
could they muster up the nerve to meet someone who has never
seen them before but had only read a description of them
which indicated they were 20-years younger, 12-inches taller,
and 40-pounds thinner than they actually are…

A man and woman date each other. They're both committed to the idea
they should not have a sexual relationship until they are
married. After dating a while, they decide to get married.

On their wedding night, the woman takes off her
bra and sets it on the dresser. Not only has she removed her
bra, she has also…

Then she shimmies out of the girdle which had been
responsible for giving her the appearance of a small, petite
waistline.

She goes into the bathroom and removes her makeup which
now reveals an
acne-scarred complexion.

As for the man, he starts by taking off his shoes.
Shoes,
which turn out to be "elevator" shoes. Ones which
made him appear
several inches taller than he actually is. (By the way, did you know John Wayne
wore boots with such high heels and lifts inside his boots
they made him appear 8-inches taller?)

Anyway, after our man
takes off his shoes, he also removes the expensive hairpiece
he was wearing which gave him the appearance of having dark, thick,
youthful-looking curly hair.

It turns out he likewise was wearing a girdle.
And when it's removed, his much larger gut is suddenly
revealed as opposed to the thinner waistline he had when…

To top it all off, they each had gone into
the bathroom, pulled out their false teeth and plopped them
into glasses of water, revealing toothless smiles.

This is an exaggerated scenario. But a less
exaggerated similar scenario happens, I think, thousands of
time every day. If you want to lose your belief in the
credibility of other humans, I…

I'm only going to tell the following story
because, as an Alpha Shitweasel, I feel an obligation to
occasionally embarrass and humiliate my closest friends.

As you know, I have been training a
brilliant, young copywriter from Ireland named Caleb O'Dowd.
Not long ago, he "met" a woman online through something
called "Craig's List". This woman described…

Well, me being me, and me being almost certain his
date was going to be a disaster, I purposely didn't call him
in 20-minutes. After about 45-minutes, I did break down and call him.
I told him about the problem just like we had discussed.

Caleb said,

"Thank you for the phone call. I'll
leave right away to take care of it."

I responded,

"That's really not
necessary Caleb. I think Amit, Theresa and I can really
handle it."

"NO!"
He yelled.

"I'm leaving RIGHT NOW
to take care of this. It's too important for me not to come
back."

Then I replied,

"No, really, you just go ahead
and enjoy your date. I assure you, we can handle it without
you."

He then screamed,

"I'll fix it myself DAMN IT!
Don't do a thing without me."

When Caleb got back and started telling
Amit and myself about his date, we were convulsed with
laughter. Caleb said she had described herself as having a
guitar-shaped figure. When, in fact, she had an ass the size
of a Mack truck…

By the way, this woman's name was Jamiel and
she'll never read this newsletter. So I want everybody who
does read it and who ever has the chance to
meet Caleb to say something to him like,

"Hey Caleb, want to
go to the bar and have a drink or maybe a cup of coffee? I've
got…

Caleb being Irish is extremely fair-skinned.
We went to the beach a couple
weeks ago and he got lobster-red sunburned. But I tell
you... that rich-red sunburn was nothing compared to
the embarrassed flush that still comes over Caleb whenever anybody
mentions the name "Jamiel".

I've now given you something very
valuable: A tool with which to embarrass and humiliate a
good person whenever you're having a bad day.

Seriously though and all kidding aside, I
just don't understand how a person can grossly misrepresent
themselves in a personal ad... and then... have the nerve to
appear in person, looking and being…

So let me get back to and elaborate on the "stand out"
feature of my personal ad... which... once again was...

SPECIFICITY

Not only did I accurately describe my
physical appearance, I also told the specifics of my workout
routine. I was so specific, I even mentioned the fact that when I did my roadwork, it
was near Lake Hollywood…

All of you know (or at least
you should know) the copywriting formula AIDA (Attention
Interest Desire Action). I think an "S" should be added to
the end of that formula. The "S" would stand for "Specificity".

I'm now going to reveal a secret which can
multiply the profit of many, if not all, of the marketers
who read this newsletter.

This secret is true for ALL marketers... but
especially... especially... especially... true for online
marketers.

I've said it many times before and I'll say
it again: There are three reasons people do NOT buy from
you:

1) They don't want what you are selling.

2) They can't afford what you are selling.

3) They don't believe you.

Many of the people who go into direct
marketing and, especially those who go into internet direct
marketing, do so because they have "Walter Mitty"
personalities. A Walter Mitty type person is a guy who
dreams grandiosely in his mind's eye about doing heroic
things. Like maybe playing in The Superbowl. Or dating a
stunning model like Claudia Schiffer…