2005 - 07-26-05

You know, I've often wondered about people
who lie about their age and appearance in personal ads. How
could they muster up the nerve to meet someone who has never
seen them before but had only read a description of them
which indicated they were 20-years younger, 12-inches taller,
and 40-pounds thinner than they actually are? It reminds me
of a scenario I carry around in my head.

A man and woman date each other. They're both committed to the idea
they should not have a sexual relationship until they are
married. After dating a while, they decide to get married.

On their wedding night, the woman takes off her
bra and sets it on the dresser. Not only has she removed her
bra, she has also removed the falsies she
had been wearing which made her breasts look 3-cup sizes
larger than they actually are.

Then she shimmies out of the girdle which had been
responsible for giving her the appearance of a small, petite
waistline.

She goes into the bathroom and removes her makeup which
now reveals an
acne-scarred complexion.

As for the man, he starts by taking off his shoes.
Shoes,
which turn out to be "elevator" shoes. Ones which
made him appear
several inches taller than he actually is. (By the way, did you know John Wayne
wore boots with such high heels and lifts inside his boots
they made him appear 8-inches taller?)

Anyway, after our man
takes off his shoes, he also removes the expensive hairpiece
he was wearing which gave him the appearance of having dark, thick,
youthful-looking curly hair.

It turns out he likewise was wearing a girdle.
And when it's removed, his much larger gut is suddenly
revealed as opposed to the thinner waistline he had when he was fully dressed.