2005 - 07-26-05

Anyway, after our man
takes off his shoes, he also removes the expensive hairpiece
he was wearing which gave him the appearance of having dark, thick,
youthful-looking curly hair.

It turns out he likewise was wearing a girdle.
And when it's removed, his much larger gut is suddenly
revealed as opposed to the thinner waistline he had when he was fully dressed.

To top it all off, they each had gone into
the bathroom, pulled out their false teeth and plopped them
into glasses of water, revealing toothless smiles.

This is an exaggerated scenario. But a less
exaggerated similar scenario happens, I think, thousands of
time every day. If you want to lose your belief in the
credibility of other humans, I can tell you an easy way to
do it... just start dating people you meet online.

I'm only going to tell the following story
because, as an Alpha Shitweasel, I feel an obligation to
occasionally embarrass and humiliate my closest friends.

As you know, I have been training a
brilliant, young copywriter from Ireland named Caleb O'Dowd.
Not long ago, he "met" a woman online through something
called "Craig's List". This woman described herself as
extremely attractive, curvaceous and sexy, with all sorts of
other outstanding attributes. Caleb made a date with
her. As his mentor, I told him it would be prudent if we
planned an "escape route" for him... just in case. What we
agreed was, after he had been with her for about 20-minutes,
I would call his cell phone. I would tell him we had a
problem with the telephone operators who were taking orders
for his business and it had to be fixed immediately. If the
date was going well, Caleb would tell me that I should handle the
problem myself and he would take care of it the
following day. However, if the date was not going well,
Caleb would tell me that he would come back to the office immediately so
he could personally resolve the problem.

Well, me being me, and me being almost certain his
date was going to be a disaster, I purposely didn't call him
in 20-minutes. After about 45-minutes, I did break down and call him.
I told him about the problem just like we had discussed.

Caleb said,

"Thank you for the phone call. I'll
leave right away to take care of it."

I responded,

"That's really not
necessary Caleb. I think Amit, Theresa and I can really
handle it."

"NO!"
He yelled.