2005 - 07-26-05

"I'm leaving RIGHT NOW
to take care of this. It's too important for me not to come
back."

Then I replied,

"No, really, you just go ahead
and enjoy your date. I assure you, we can handle it without
you."

He then screamed,

"I'll fix it myself DAMN IT!
Don't do a thing without me."

When Caleb got back and started telling
Amit and myself about his date, we were convulsed with
laughter. Caleb said she had described herself as having a
guitar-shaped figure. When, in fact, she had an ass the size
of a Mack truck! He ranted and raved about the wretchedness
of this woman so much so, I wish Amit and I would have had a
video tape running. It would have played well on "The Comedy
Channel".

By the way, this woman's name was Jamiel and
she'll never read this newsletter. So I want everybody who
does read it and who ever has the chance to
meet Caleb to say something to him like,

"Hey Caleb, want to
go to the bar and have a drink or maybe a cup of coffee? I've
got Jamiel waiting there for you."

Caleb being Irish is extremely fair-skinned.
We went to the beach a couple
weeks ago and he got lobster-red sunburned. But I tell
you... that rich-red sunburn was nothing compared to
the embarrassed flush that still comes over Caleb whenever anybody
mentions the name "Jamiel".

I've now given you something very
valuable: A tool with which to embarrass and humiliate a
good person whenever you're having a bad day.

Seriously though and all kidding aside, I
just don't understand how a person can grossly misrepresent
themselves in a personal ad... and then... have the nerve to
appear in person, looking and being so different than the
way they had described themselves.