Superintelligence CouncilСовет гения · sim.im

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topic: teaching ✕

5,169 passages, newest first · 43 ms

It's pretty obvious to see why this will work so
much better than what you usually mail.

"But what about the bothersome logistics of
preparing a mailing like this?" you and your
superiors ask. Greg, I can tell you this... I
personally have created promotions that required
more complicated lettershop endeavors than this
particular promotion. And, I was able…

Let me tell you about just one of those
promotions. I created it for Health Laboratories
of America located in Phoenix, Arizona. It was,
I believe, the most widely mailed diet promotion
in history. The letter worked so well, we almost
couldn't find a list that wouldn't pay a profit.
Eventually, after years of mailing tens of
millions…

We got the file of everybody who had a driver's
license in the United States. Then we did a
computer program that did a simple calculation
based on the height and weight information
contained in that file. This enabled us to "kick
out" all the porkers who had a driver's license.
We mailed millions of those letters to…

By the way, that file, when I last checked, had
a universe of 160 million names.

To hell with it. I know you guys are not even
going to test my promotion. But hope springs
eternal. And I thought before I did anything
else, I would give it to you the way it SHOULD
be mailed.

Then you can discuss it with the "powers that
be" and when they tell you there is no way in
hell they are going to test this promotion, I
will rework it (it won't take much) and give it
to you in the much weaker, lame-ass format which
will keep everybody in their comfort zone.

By the way, this promotion does, of course, need
to be proofread by you or some member of your
staff with an eagle eye to make certain I
haven't accidentally written something that is a
factual error.

Anyway, please email me at [email protected] as
soon as possible and let me know you're not
going to even test this promotion. A prompt
reply would be appreciated.

Sincerely,

Gary C. Halbert

"The World's Most Modest Copywriter"

P.S. As you know, Mark Ford here in Florida has
a brilliant mind. Why don't you run this
promotion by him before you summarily refuse to
mail it?

Well, believe it or not, within minutes of
having sent that cover letter, I got a response from Greg.
Here's his response:

Thanks Gary - I
printed it out and I'll read this bad boy... I
pretty much make most of the decisions here, so
I think we'll be able to mail this beast!

Thanks,

Greg

And here's the reply I sent him:

Praise the
Lord!

Gary

I want you to stop reading my newsletter
here... and instead... download and read the sales letter
for Agora. It's very important you do it in this order. You
see, after you've downloaded and read that letter, you need
to come back to my website and continue reading this
newsletter. That's because I…

Click on the link below to read the 16-page
Agora Publishing letter for their product, "Options
Hotline".

Agora Options Hotline\07-28-05 Letter With Table.pdf

* ONLY AFTER
YOU'VE DOWNLOADED AND READ THE 16-PAGE SALES LETTER SHOULD
YOU CONTINUE
READING HERE *
Well, I hope you found
the 16-page letter you just read both interesting and…

In any case, here are a few facts I think
you should ponder: We are now living in the most uncertain time
in the entire history of the country... if not... the world!

By this time next year, there may be peace
in Iraq. Or, the violence may continue to escalate (as many
analysts believe) until it is such a…

I just don't know. Neither do you. And
nobody else knows either.

And what about the price of gasoline? Maybe
it will be $10 or more a gallon (it already is in some
countries). Or maybe it will drop to a $1.25 or less per
gallon.

Again, I don't know. And neither do you. And
neither does anybody else.

Same thing with the economy in general. A
year from now, things may be just rosy. Maybe everybody will
have a job and plenty of money. Maybe not. Maybe there will
be a 30% unemployment rate and most people will be
struggling just to survive. Maybe…

And what about terrorism? After 9-11 and the
London subway bombings, we've learned anything is possible.
Maybe they'll blow up the Statue of Liberty or the stock
exchange building or the two nuclear power plants just south
of Los Angeles. Maybe nothing will happen.

The point is...

Nobody In The World Can Now Predict

The Future With Any Degree Of Certainty
Whatsoever!

Which brings me to another couple of crucial
questions you should be asking yourself.

First, do you think you will ever be able
to write copy as good as the recent examples of copy you've
read on my website?

Secondly, do you even want to expend
the time and effort to get as good at writing copy as I am?

My suggestion to many of you is the answers
to both of these questions should be a loud, resounding
"NO!"

You see, it's unlikely you will ever be able
to write copy as good as me. (I love to use bad grammar.)

The first reason is, I am a natural born
copywriter with a unique gift for it. I conceived my first
mail order project when I was approximately 9-years old.
Many of you are too young to…

All the kids I knew and many of the adults
wanted a crystal radio. If you knew how, you could make one
of them yourself. But, of course, most people didn't know
how to make one. So my very first mail order idea was to go
to the public library, read up on how to make a crystal
radio…

Of course, this did not come to pass. After
all...

I Was Only 9-Years Old

Much later, when I got out of the Army and
moved back to Ohio, someone suggested I go work for the
Cuyahoga Falls Police Department. I had no interest in that.
After three years of risking my life as a military
policeman, I never…

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