2005 - 07-29-05

We got the file of everybody who had a driver's
license in the United States. Then we did a
computer program that did a simple calculation
based on the height and weight information
contained in that file. This enabled us to "kick
out" all the porkers who had a driver's license.
We mailed millions of those letters to those
porkers at a very considerable profit.

By the way, that file, when I last checked, had
a universe of 160 million names.

To hell with it. I know you guys are not even
going to test my promotion. But hope springs
eternal. And I thought before I did anything
else, I would give it to you the way it SHOULD
be mailed.

Then you can discuss it with the "powers that
be" and when they tell you there is no way in
hell they are going to test this promotion, I
will rework it (it won't take much) and give it
to you in the much weaker, lame-ass format which
will keep everybody in their comfort zone.

By the way, this promotion does, of course, need
to be proofread by you or some member of your
staff with an eagle eye to make certain I
haven't accidentally written something that is a
factual error.

Anyway, please email me at [email protected] as
soon as possible and let me know you're not
going to even test this promotion. A prompt
reply would be appreciated.

Sincerely,

Gary C. Halbert

"The World's Most Modest Copywriter"