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Thank
you."

Well anyway, whether you order the book or not, I hope what
you've just read has given you some insight into how to write
bullets and ordering instructions. You know, copywriting, when
done well, is extremely easy to read but brutally hard to
write. Writing is, I believe, the hardest job in the world.
Especially if you…

Not so with copywriting. There... every word... has
to count!

But don't despair, you can learn to do it. And, when you do,
you can work anywhere in the world and the payoff can be
handsome indeed.

I'd like to conclude this issue by telling you a curious
story. Not long ago, an officer from the third largest…

He was a nice guy, very sharp, and, when he left he
understood, I believe, why I couldn't work on such an account.
You see, what the bank wanted was more of the "same ol', same
ol'." They run full-page ads in places like the Wall
Street Journal with a
picture of a guy in a rowboat and…

NATIONS
BANK: The Power To Make A Difference!

I just
checked with Nancy Jones and the cost of running just one
full-page ad in the full circulation of the Wall Street
Journal is $114,605.28.

Can you imagine that? Paying that much money to print eight
words having no selling power whatsoever? Think about it: That
comes out…

It's curious to me. I bet Nations Bank has some of the
sharpest executives in the world. I bet they watch every penny
of their costs like hawks. I bet they measure everything from
currency fluctuations to the square foot cost of each building
they rent or buy. I bet when they make a loan, they learn
everything about…

But then, sometimes, I think it's me that's stupid. Just
think, if I handled accounts like this and charged the
standard 15% like ad agencies do, I could make $17,190.79 just
for writing a lousy eight words every time they run an ad in
the Journal.

Oh well, it's just not my bag. What I like to do is write ads
that make huge profits for my clients. I don't always succeed
but often, I put more work into writing one ad than a
conventional ad agency does in doing 10-years of work for one
of their institutional clients.

Do you have
a project for which you need advertising written? If so,
I strongly urge you to learn to write the advertising yourself
or else hire a real copywriting expert to do it for you.

Someone like me.

Sincerely,

Gary C. Halbert

P.S.

I mentioned I had
recently solicited some "Feedback" letters from people who had
recently re-subscribed to my newsletter. Well, even if you
haven't recently re-subscribed, I'd appreciate a letter from
you telling me what you'd like to read about in upcoming issues.

Audio Version Contains Exclusive

Bonus Material From None

Other Than Parris Lampropoulos.

Get The Direct Download

Here (Halbertising.com)

or

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# 976 Numbers

From:

Los
Angeles, California

Friday,
4:05 P.M.

June 5,
1987

Dear friend and
subscriber,

Let's
talk about sex.

A
few years ago I was browsing in a Studio City bookstore when the
devil made me pick up a girlie magazine called High Society. The
devil then further directed my attention to the middle of the…

Thank God
for the devil.

Anyway,
there she was, all spread out in her nude, nubile glory, beckoning me
to feast my eyes on every square inch of her lush, wanton, young
body. But that's not all she was beckoning me to do. No, Sir! She was
also beckoning me to call her at a special number so I…

And so I
did.

And
so did a few other people. In fact, if my info is correct, some of
those centerfold ladies receive...

500,000
Calls Per Day!

Whooee!
That's a lot of heavy breathing, ain't it? But, so what? What
ramifications, if any, does this have to do with our marketing
efforts?

Plenty.
Just wait. Now listen, do you know how this business of 976 numbers
works? It's sort of like this: What you do is you go to Ma Bell and
tell her you want to have some 976 numbers. Then you arrange to buy
or lease some phone answering equipment. All this will cost you a few
thou. O…

The
numbers go something like this: First, the customer (he who does the
dialing) must pay his normal phone charges. What this means is that
if your 976 number is located in the 212 area code and he is calling
from area code 213, then he must pay a long distance toll charge.
However, if he is calling from the…

Furthermore,
he must also pay a fee (usually about $2.00) for the privilege of
listening to the info on the 976 recorded message.

And
what happens to this $2.00 fee? Aha, I thought you'd never ask. Hear
this: The fee is collected by Ma Bell (it is added to the caller's
phone bill) and Ma keeps…

Getting
interesting, isn't it?

Let
us press on. Remember that centerfold girl who invited me to call her
so she could tell me how hot she was for my bod? Do you know that
what she told me after her recorded message got me all hot and
bothered? Well, listen to this! What she told me at the end…

Oh
yeah! Oh yeah! Oh yeah!

Hold
on, all ye who would think ill of me. I'm not getting excited about
all that heavy breathing; I'm getting excited about those numbers!

Let's
see now, if some of those centerfold girls get 500,000 calls per day,
that's uh, about 750,000.00 to he who owns…

So,
1% of 500,000 is 5,000. Right? And what does it cost a credit card
holder to listen to a real life girl talk dirty? Well, according to
my informants, it's about $35.00 for 15 minutes. And how much is
$35.00 times 5,000 callers? Check it out. It seems to me it's another

$175,000.00!

By
now, I bet you want to know more about this 976 business, don't you?
But you're probably just like me. In other words, even though you'd
like to know how to apply all this to your own efforts, you don't
want to call one of those "dial-a-porn" numbers by mistake…