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"What,"
I said,

"What am I doing?"

To which she replied,

"You're tracking
stuff all over my living room rug!"

It took both us a moment to realize the
absurdity of her concern. But I think it's indicative of the
human condition. We can be faced with a calamity of enormous
proportion but focus our attention on some…

Now I'm going to tell you something: My
readers know a lot about me. But in truth, I have only
revealed the tip of the iceberg of what I know about
marketing.

What I'm about to say to you is going to be
shocking. But it's true. And I can prove it.

On
January 16, 1994 I, Sir Gary of Halbert,

Invented Email
And Internet Marketing!

I swear to God that's true.

Here's how it happened: I conducted a
brainstorming session at Universal City in California. It
was called "Gary Halbert's Electronic Marketing
Brainstorming Session". What I did is invite the top
computer experts in the United States to…

At the time, almost everyone marketing on
the Internet was doing so on "bulletin boards". That's
probably something a lot of young Internet users have never
even heard about.

So many computer experts came to my
brainstorming session, we had to attempt to get a larger
room to accommodate everyone.

The names of many of the people who attended
that session reads like a "Who's Who" in the annals of
online marketing. It will be fun for me as you listen to the
recording of this brainstorming session to see how many of
the names of the attendees and experts you recognize.

It will be even more fun and interesting when
you are hit with the fact of how many of those people have
since become multi-millionaire online marketers.

I started the brainstorming session by
having people give me an overview of how people all over the
world were (then) using computers. Then, I got in to them to explain their…

But that is not the reason you should
purchase or listen to these tapes. The reason you should own
these tapes is so you can listen to me live in action as I
extract the core secrets and desires of Internet users and
develop ways to use those secrets and desires to sell to
them.

You know when I uncovered the secrets of the
water ad to you? Actually all I did was reveal those
secrets to you. What would be obscenely valuable to you is
to learn HOW I go about uncovering those marketing secrets.
And that is EXACTLY what you will learn when you listen to
these tapes.

There's a story about these tapes. After the
brainstorming session had been recorded, it was widely
thought the tapes had been destroyed during the earthquake.
But one set of those tapes was discovered to be completely
intact. Then, believe it or not, because that set of tapes
was given to me, they were lost again.

You know when I found this goldmine of
marketing information?

Just three days ago. I could hardly contain
my excitement.

I now have in my hands what is quite
possibly the most valuable marketing brainstorming session ever
captured on tape.

There are eight of these audio tapes. Each
one of them has a simple paper label. The tapes are cleverly
titled "Tape 1", "Tape 2", all the way to "Tape 8". They
come in a handy dandy 8-tape recording case with a crude
picture of me on the front conducting the brainstorming
session.

I am NOT going to convert these tapes into
CD's. Don't bitch to me about how your car or house no longer has
something to play audio cassettes. Don't tell me you are now
so technologically advanced that you can only play CD's or
DVD's. I don't care.

If you want this information, you should
know it's ONLY available on audio cassettes. So maybe you're gonna have to cart
your pathetic ass down to Radio Shack (or some other
electronic store) and spend $14.95 to buy a piece of
"out-of-date" technology so you can play and
listen to these tapes.

I'm sorry. But to get things of real value,
occasionally we have to make enormous sacrifices such as
this.

I'm going to charge $197 plus $5 shipping
and handling (that's $202 for those of you who are
mathematically impaired) for you to get these tapes. And I'm
going to do something else: I'm selling them…

Why am I doing this? Because eventually
somebody's going to get the idea of selling my tapes on
e-Bay. And I absolutely cannot wait until someone does that.
Because, for a long time, I've been chomping at the bit to
make an example of someone who sells other people's
intellectual property on e-Bay for a…

Want to know how bad it's going to be?

Just think DuSean Berkich.

Another thing I'm going to do is I am NOT
going to charge you for the purchase of these tapes until
30-days after I have shipped them to you. If you buy them by
check, I will hold your check for 30-days before…

I Am The
Person Who Invented Spam!

Anyway, if you are unhappy with the tapes,
all you have to do is send them back to me with a signed
note saying you did not reproduce them in any way and we
will return your uncashed check or destroy your credit card
information.

By the way, I cannot stop the processing of
your credit card payment if you decide to purchase my tapes
using PayPal. But you have my word, if you decide to
purchase the tapes by PayPal and then decide to return them,
I will issue you an immediate refund.

Listen, I want to end this newsletter. Let's
get to the bottom line: I'm offering you an invaluable
marketing lesson which was almost lost to the world. More
than any other product that exists, this one will teach you
how to think like ME when you think about marketing.

If you're at all serious about marketing,
you must order these tapes... and... you'll probably want to
listen to them several times a year.

If you're not serious about
marketing, you're welcome to keep reading my newsletters for
free for the educational and fun and entertainment value
they
offer.