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You think maybe something like this could be
marketed? I bet you'd like to know what it is, wouldn't you?
Sorry, but I think I'll save this one for myself... and
someone who has deep enough pockets (and sanity!) to finance my
worldwide marketing this device.

Let me switch gears here for a moment. I
know only a few truly world-class copywriters and there is
something unique about them you would never guess. That
secret is...

None Of Them
Are Cheap!

When I was learning my trade, I bought every
book, course, and seminar about copywriting and marketing I
could get my hands on. I…

Later, in a private conversation with Gary
Bencivenga when I was in New York to attend his seminar, he
told me that he had privately purchased everything about
marketing and copywriting I had ever offered for sale.

Years ago, when I was teaching on a regular
basis at the Jefferson Institute in Utah, Mark Stoddard
spotted me picking out several books on marketing on display
at the Institute, and then going to cashier to pay for them.
He told me since I was a featured speaker, I could get all
this material at a fraction of the…

You know what? It'll probably seem curious
to many of my readers, but it never even crossed my mind to
ask if I could get this valuable material at a discount.

I charge different prices for my different
services. Sometimes it's as low as $7,500 for a 2-hour
telephone consultation. The most common price for my…

I've noticed a BIG difference in the people
who hire me at $30,000. Basically, they only ask two
questions:

"Are you available to do my job?"
And if I say
'yes' the second question is,
"Who do I make the check out
to, and what address do I FedEx it to?"

During the course of my career, I've had a
lot of people call me and tell me they want to hire me and
money is no object.

But I have learned when someone says,

"Money is no object,"
that most of the time... money is the most important
consideration on their mind. I've had people tell me they…

You know what I tell those people? I tell them,
"Look, that sounds great to
me. I'll make you a deal. I want you to write a $500 check
payable to the Children's Hospital of Miami and send that
check to me. As soon as I receive the check, I'll hand it to
the Hospital and tell…

And you know what? Absolutely nobody has ever
taken me up on that offer. It is remarkably curious how many
people claim to be making hundreds of thousands of dollars a
week... but... can't seem to get $500 out of their
accounting department (it's always because of accounting
difficulties) to get a consultation with me and help a…

Now please permit me to tell you an old
joke... but... it's a joke with a lot of truth in it.

Two real estate guys are working as
partners in Miami. One of them

comes back from an afternoon
meeting and has supper with his partner.

He tells his
partner, "Ron, I've got good news and bad news! You know

that building they wanted $230-Million for? Well guess what?
I was

able to get them to lower the price to only
$190-Million."

To which his partner, Russ, says,
"Well,
what's the bad news?"

Ron replies,
"They want $5,000 in
cash."

Really cheap people are curious to me. If
they work in real estate, they will ignore 99 extremely
profitable deals... just to find one deal that is insanely
profitable... maybe because the widow who owns the property has
only a couple weeks to live because she is dying of cancer.

Anyway, all that I have written above on the
subject of cheap people has been a set-up.

It's a set-up because I want to sell you
something.

You know how valuable that education was
when I pulled back the shades and revealed to you the real
secrets of the water ad? Well, I've got something which…

All By
Yourself!

But I ain't giving it to you free.

You're gonna have to pay.

But I'll say this, if you decide to buy what
I'm about to offer... and... you have one drop of marketing
blood in your veins... it will be worth millions to you.

Let me tell you about January 16, 1994.

There are three things that happened on that
date which make it especially memorable.

First, it's the date Telly Savalas passed
away. You remember him, don't you? He's the bald-headed
actor who played "Kojak" the lollypop sucking detective on a
long-running TV show.

The other thing which was memorable about
January 16, 1994 was what happened later that "evening"
about 2 o'clock in the morning. (I guess that would make it
technically January 17.) Well, anyway, that's the date
California experienced a monstrous 6.6 earthquake.

I was sleeping with a girlfriend who lived
in Studio City at that time. One curious thing I remember
about her apartment building was it was owned by the TV star
of Miami Vice, Don Johnson. Anyway, there we are, sound
asleep when the entire building starts swaying and shaking
like King Kong or the Jolly Green Giant has grabbed…

"Honey, was it good for you too?!"

Well, maybe I shouldn't have said that. As
soon as I did a very heavy dresser smashed down on my head.
It was like God was bitch-slapping me for having the
arrogance to mock his divine power. I wrapped my body
protectively around my girlfriend and kept saying,

"Honey, it's
going to be okay. We're going to be okay."
All the while I was promising her that,
her apartment and the entire building was literally shaking
apart.

Eventually, the shaking stopped. At least
momentarily. We got out of bed and crawled to the living
room. Everything was smashed. Her computer was destroyed.
All her artwork from…

For some reason I stumbled into the kitchen
and then turned around and crawled back into the living
room. At that moment, my girlfriend raised her voice and
started screaming,

"Gary, Gary! Look what you're doing!"