2005 - 11-29-05

I was sleeping with a girlfriend who lived
in Studio City at that time. One curious thing I remember
about her apartment building was it was owned by the TV star
of Miami Vice, Don Johnson. Anyway, there we are, sound
asleep when the entire building starts swaying and shaking
like King Kong or the Jolly Green Giant has grabbed ahold
of it and is moving it back and forth furiously. You know
what popped out of my mouth instantly and I swear to God
this is true. While everything in the room was shaking, I
said to my girlfriend...

"Honey, was it good for you too?!"

Well, maybe I shouldn't have said that. As
soon as I did a very heavy dresser smashed down on my head.
It was like God was bitch-slapping me for having the
arrogance to mock his divine power. I wrapped my body
protectively around my girlfriend and kept saying,

"Honey, it's
going to be okay. We're going to be okay."
All the while I was promising her that,
her apartment and the entire building was literally shaking
apart.

Eventually, the shaking stopped. At least
momentarily. We got out of bed and crawled to the living
room. Everything was smashed. Her computer was destroyed.
All her artwork from the walls was on the floor. The
furniture was now kindling. In her kitchen, the
refrigerator had fallen forward and the doors to the
refrigerator and freezer were ajar. All kinds of food and
various liquids like orange juice and milk had spilled out onto the
kitchen floor.

For some reason I stumbled into the kitchen
and then turned around and crawled back into the living
room. At that moment, my girlfriend raised her voice and
started screaming,

"Gary, Gary! Look what you're doing!"

"What,"
I said,

"What am I doing?"

To which she replied,

"You're tracking
stuff all over my living room rug!"

It took both us a moment to realize the
absurdity of her concern. But I think it's indicative of the
human condition. We can be faced with a calamity of enormous
proportion but focus our attention on some mundane everyday
detail. I think it's a part of our survival mechanism which
allows us to cope with monstrous events beyond our control.