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That’s not the worst of it. We are also forbidden access to
Theresa forever. I have no way to visit her, telephone her,
e-mail her, or even send her a smoke signal. Theresa has
been very loyal and helpful to me. She is a wonderful woman
and her contribution to my life has been priceless.

But, she’s also a Jehovah Witness and, as I understand it,
when a JW woman marries, she must, according to the dictates
of that religion be almost completely subservient to her
husband. Theresa is a very classy woman. I think if the
situation were different, she’d at least talk with my female
assistant from time-to-time to…

So, I’m here in Miami with a new office, boxes stacked from
wall-to-ceiling and, we don’t even have the computers hooked
up yet. You’ll know when they are hooked up because I won’t
be able to post this newsletter on my website until then.
So, if you are reading this letter, you know I…

Anyway, if you are reading this letter, that means I’m back
in business, and I’ve got something to sell. Don’t tense
up. It has enormous value and you’re not going to have to
sell the farm to get it. Let me tell you about it. As you
probably know, I did a “Root Canal” Seminar in…

After about five hours of the first day of this seminar, I
realized it was turning out to be perhaps the best seminar
I’ve ever given. Then, my staff and I struggled like crazy
to find a way to record it. We even tried using an I-Pod to
do the job. But, to no avail. It was at…

I was almost panic stricken but, then, a really nice guy,
George Graves, said he would attend the L.A. Seminar and he
would record it for me.

Thank
God for George!

So, the Los Angeles Root Canal Seminar did get recorded
professionally and I now have all the CD’s of that seminar.
There are 12 CD’s in…

Anyway, I’ve been thinking about these Root Canal Seminars.

What was it, I puzzled, that made these seminars stand out
so much from all the other seminars I had given? Then it
came to me. It was the format of the seminar. In the Root
Canal seminars what I did was talk for the better part of
the entire…

I did this for every single person in the room. I cannot
imagine someone having a problem concerning a direct
marketing business that is not addressed and answered on the
CD’s of this seminar. If you only ever buy one thing from
me, I hope it is these CD’s.

The price I’ve decided to charge you for a set of these
invaluable CD’s is $397.00 and I will pay the shipping and
handling charges.

Click Here To Order The "Root Canal" Seminar

(start listening to the first day instantly)

Well, that’s it for this issue. I hope you order my CD’s, I
hope you help spread the word about Xanax and I hope you
continue to be a loyal reader of this newsletter.

Sincerely,

Gary C. Halbert

P.S.
You know, generally, in the P.S. section of most of my
newsletters, I try to write something…

I
don’t think I’ll ever stop being irreverent and I don’t
think I’m going to start being politically correct. But,
the last few weeks of my life have changed me. I’m now, I
believe, a much more compassionate person. I’m less
judgmental and I never smart-ass anymore when I see a person
who…

But,
don’t worry. I’m still gonna be the same ‘ol “kick-ass and
take-names” Gary that many of you have come to love, hate
and think I’m a genius or an articulate writer who is wrong
just about everything. Anyway, thank you for bearing with
me through a more than somewhat dismal letter.

Peace.

# 2006 - jam packed

From:

North of Jewfish Creek

Dear
Friend and Subscriber,

We live in a
jam-packed world.

It reminds me of a guy who, years ago, did a lot of public
speaking. He had a neat gimmick for getting people’s
attention. He had a huge glass jar on stage with him.
He’d tell the audience he…

Then, he would dump gravel into the jar
which would settle in the spaces between the rocks. He
would say that now the jar was full. When the audience
agreed he’d say “No, the jar is
not full yet.”

Then, he’d put sand in the jar. The sand
would settle in spaces between the gravel and the rocks…

Then, he’d put water
in the jar and allow as how, at last, the jar was indeed
full.

Nowadays, I’m
guessing, some hot shot would say the jar was not full.
And then he’d insert a hose into the water and pump oxygen
into it until the water was saturated with oxygen and only
then would he…

But wait! Along
comes another guy who shoots sub-atomic particles into the
jar and saturates it with sub-atomic debris and then say
how the jar is full.

And along comes a guy
with an x-ray machine... to hell with it. I got lost way
back there when the guy poured water into the jar.

But hey, you wanna
see some jam-packing going on in your everyday life? You
do? I can’t imagine why. But you can see all of this
hysterical jam-packing just by turning on your TV. Watch
any show and wait t’il the commercials come on. You won’t
have to wait long. First, there will be about…

And the commercial
itself will be superheated and give you no time whatsoever
to absorb one image until there’s another. I think the
average 10 second commercial bombards you with about 50 to
60 images. One cut after another. 1/100 of a second
image then cut! 1⁄2 second image cut... 1/3 of a second
image cut! Then…

The sales message? It doesn’t survive all those cuts.
Your mind will be chopped up with all those cuts and, if
someone asks you what you just watched you’ll sit there
numb and mutter,
“I don’t know really. I think it was something about a
car?

I’d like to see a car commercial where the only image you
saw was that of a new car. It would stay on screen for
the full 10 seconds and there would be a voiceover from a
celebrity spokesperson that said, “This is the new
Sharpmobile. It’s really a great car. You should buy
one.” And this commercial…