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Whatever. Anyway, I write a new issue of my newsletter approximately every 30-days... and... if you want to know immediately when a new issue is posted, just click below and send me your e-mail address. Then, I'll send you a one-line e-mail message each month telling you the brand new issue is now on the…

In any case, I hope you find as much value in these newsletters as thousands of others have.

Sincerely

Gary C. Halbert

"The Prince Of Print"

P.S. Don't even think about reproducing and/or selling... even one sentence... of these letters in any form whatsoever. They are all copyrighted and, if you do rip them off, I guarantee…

# aazz about nothing

From:

North of Jewfish Creek

Dear Friend &
Subscriber,

I don't know when you will be reading this
but, I am starting to write it on November 8, 2000.

This morning's Miami
Herald headline says, "BUSH
WINS IT!" The TV however, says we don't know who has
won it. Personally, I don't much care…

Whatever.

Did you know the "Jerry Seinfeld
Show" almost didn't get on the air when Seinfeld told the
TV execs he wanted to do "a show about nothing." Why
do I tell you that? Because, this is the first period of time
in maybe 15 years where I didn't have something I was feeling pressured
to write. That…

It's not going to be of earth-shaking
importance either way.

Listen: I have a tall wooden box I keep in the
main salon of my boat. It is painted a bright red. I call it
my "fodder box." I put newspaper and magazine ads
and articles in there of printed material that, for some
reason, I find interesting…

Anyway, here's some of the material from my
fodder box:

A.

Here's a gadget about 3" wide and little more than
4" long. It has 33 buttons on it and a screen that
measure 2-1/2" x 2". On the screen are bunches of
little pictures. To me, these little pictures look like a
closed envelope; another…

The
ad says for $499 plus $39.95 a month, you will always be
"connected" and you can send and receive e-mail to
your heart's content. Plus, you get pager and calendar
features, with the day, date and time. And to think, after a
mere 7-1/2 years of intense study... you will be able to make…

B.

Here's a pair of gasoline-powered boots which has been
designed by a Russian professor. Each of these
"Fly-Me-To-The-Moon-Boots" has its own 12"
piston that fires every time the wearer steps down on one of
them, giving him a 13 foot
stride and speed greater than Michael Jordan.

C.

Here's a headline I like. It says, "37
Things A Writer Can Do To Avoid Writing."
According to the ad under this headline, there are
approximately 500,000 books written every year in the United
States... yet... 90% of these same books are never published.
Thanks to the wonders of technology, it is now possible to
publish your…

D.

According to Reuter's, the number of millionaires in
the world increased by 18% last year. There are now 7 million
of them, with a total net worth in excess of 25.5 trillion.
(And what's holding you back?)

E.

Ted
Koppel checks his e-mail only once a month. He is not happy
about the enhanced speed of communications. He says it
detracts from reflection and carefully-considered answers and
solutions.

F.

A
man in Wausau in Wisconsin who is a former computer analyst
has won $143,000 in damages from the company which used to
employ him…

G.

When
it comes to charity, people in Mississippi (the poorest state
per capita in the Union) donate more money to charity than any
other state. Massachusetts has once again finished dead last
for the fourth time in six years. All of this vital
information came to us in what's called "The Generosity
Index."

H.

Here's a little self-explanatory graph which I am going
to ask Theresa to reproduce in this newsletter about the cost
of postage. (Now that does have something to do with
direct mail, wouldn't you agree?)

I.

MIT
(Massachusetts Institute of Technology) is now developing
computer systems which use biorythmetic sensors attached to
the user's body and tiny cameras that record facial gestures
to develop individual emotional profiles. When a user becomes
uninterested, frustrated or bored, the software automatically
adjusts to something else.

J.

Americans lose their virginity at the youngest average
age in the world, that being 16.4. We have sex more often than
people in other countries... 132 times a year on average. The
Russians come in second with 122 times a year on average and,
the French follow in third place with 121 times and, the Greek
are next…

The article continues saying the average number
of partners in a lifetime is 8.2. However, the United States
is listed as being the most promiscuous with 16.7 partners.
This study also says Brazilians are only third when it comes
to how many sex partners they have.

This survey was conducted by the condom maker,
Durex, and, in my opinion... it is total B.S.

K.

What
should be our priority? To help us decide, here are the
approximate number of deaths per year from the following
causes:

Smoking:

434,000

Alcohol:

105,000

Secondary Smoke

53,000

Auto Accidents:

49,000

Suicide:

31,000

AIDS:

31,000

Homicide:

22,000

Cocaine & Crack:

3,300

L.

The
Post Office in Florida encouraged people in 1925 to send live
baby alligators back home to their relatives. The cost of
sending a baby alligator to someone in your family was…

M.

I'm
looking at a picture of a guy reading the Miami
Herald. The story beneath the picture says, "Many
years ago, my husband, John D. Locke, was a prominent
advertising manager. We lived a very interesting life and
retired in Pompano Beach. One of his highlights and every day
pleasures is reading the 'Herald.' He is now 80…

N.

"Slaughterhouse Worker Uses Simple Strategies To
Become A Millionaire" - that's the headline of an ad
written by Russ Whitney.

O.

There is now a proposed regulation to set a 10' height
limit here in Florida that regulates "donkey
diving." (I kid you not.) The sponsor, Representative
Suzanne Jacobs, Democrat, Delray Beach, said the legislation
is needed because exhibitions…