tugboats

Thank
you all.

O.K.,
enough of that stuff. Now, sharpen up and pay attention. Listen: did
you ever wonder if maybe you're overlooking something very important in
your advertising?

I
bet you are. You see, if you're at all like most people, there is a
huge and vitally important advertising concept to which you never give
a second thought. This is a secret so powerful that just being
aware of it can hype the effectiveness of your sales campaigns almost
beyond belief.

Don't
worry. You're going to know all about it before you finish this issue.
However, I think it'll be best if I sort of "sneak up" on it for a
couple of pages rather than give it to you cold. That's the best way, I
believe, to make it stick in your mind forever. Anyway, a clue to this
secret lies hidden in the following four items of interest:

ITEM
#1: A guy buys a beer joint
that's doing a good business in a blue collar neighborhood. His first
move is to decorate the joint and give it a little class and to lower his prices.

Can
you guess what happens? It's quite simple. He loses most of his customers!

ITEM
#2: People in a slum moan and
bitch about their living conditions. The government steps in, tears
down the slum and builds shiny, new apartment buildings into which the
ghetto folks are allowed to live rent-free.

What
happens? The ghetto folks spray graffiti on the walls, use the
elevators as toilets and, in general, trash the building.

ITEM
#3: A guy who has never broken
100 is shooting a round of golf. After the first 9 holes, he notices
he's doing exceptionally well and has only used up 36 strokes. And, if
he keeps this up for the next 9 holes, he'll shoot par for the first
time in his life.