Legally Blind

Oh, shut up! You know I'm
kidding, don't you? I've admired Clayton Makepeace's copywriting
genius ever since I finally met him in Provo, Utah way
back when he was writing for the hard money crowd. John
Carlton? King of what I call the "muscle writers." I'd
like John to take a crack at the Mickey Spillane novels.
I bet he'd be great at it. Gary Bencivenga? The only thing
I can say about him is...

We Gotta Keep Him In Retirement!

Michael Fortin specializes
in the net and knows more about it than I ever will or
desire to know. And Kennedy? He and Makepeace are both
so prolific they make me sick with guilt. I gotta find
the source of the batteries those guys run on.

But, as good as all those
guys are, I bring something to the table that all of them
lack. You see...

It Is Only I Who Can Justifiably Claim
The

Title OF The Supreme Alpha Shitweasel!

And guess what? As of today, the Alpha Shitweasel is
back! And being back, I've decided I want to give my vision
a treat in this newsletter. I want to publish something
that is a treat for my newly renovated eyes. So I've decided
to publish a breathtaking photo of my girlfriend. My son
Kevin took this photo and I never get tired of looking
at it. Here it is:

Lord, she's pretty isn't
she? And as nice and loving as a woman can be. We've been
together nearly six years now and you know what? Every
time I see her or a photo of her I still marvel that she
is my girlfriend. She dances in rock and roll videos and
on my last trip to Costa Rica I was kicking back watching
Latino MTV and all of the sudden her video was playing
on the tube. It's a treat to see her and her girlfriends
dancing on the tube in my hotel room. When we travel around
Costa Rica people are always recognizing her as the lottery
girl or the rock and roll dancer or the model who looks
forbidding sitting astride a Tico Motors chopper. Its
all just fun and I'm happy to be the bump on the log that
blends into the background. Now listen: you know that
photo of Sirian you just saw in black and white? Well,
I'm a little afraid some of my sickly, infirm readers
may have a heart attack or stroke if they see that same
photo in full color. But I checked the law for deaths
caused by looking at a photo of a pretty girl and there
seems to be no penalty. So if you've got the nerve to
chance it

see my Corazon in color at sirianincolor.

Actually, let me be slightly
sober for a moment. It's true I like to show off my girlfriend
from time to time. But that's not the total reason for
what I just did. See, I sort of believe people in general
tend to like black and white photos better than color.
Anyway, I wanted to know if that's true for a long time.
So I'd appreciate it, after looking at both photos, if
you would send an email to [email protected]
and tell me which photo you like best. I'd be much obliged.
Maybe this info will lead to more efficient marketing.
Who knows?