Legally Blind

So, now you know (sort
of) why I haven't posted a newsletter for quite some time.
It's partially a spiritual reason I don't completely understand
myself.

Anyway, I Want To Apologize For All The
Grief

And Trauma I Have Caused You!

You see, when my newsletter
isn't posted at least once a month, my info starved, truth
seekers are forced to get by with written dribble from
second rate marketers like Clayton Makepeace, John Carlton,
Gary Bencivenga, Dan Kennedy, Michael Fortin and all the
others who are so pathetic they are hardly worth mentioning.
Let alone reading.

Oh, shut up! You know I'm
kidding, don't you? I've admired Clayton Makepeace's copywriting
genius ever since I finally met him in Provo, Utah way
back when he was writing for the hard money crowd. John
Carlton? King of what I call the "muscle writers." I'd
like John to take a crack at the Mickey Spillane novels.
I bet he'd be great at it. Gary Bencivenga? The only thing
I can say about him is...

We Gotta Keep Him In Retirement!

Michael Fortin specializes
in the net and knows more about it than I ever will or
desire to know. And Kennedy? He and Makepeace are both
so prolific they make me sick with guilt. I gotta find
the source of the batteries those guys run on.

But, as good as all those
guys are, I bring something to the table that all of them
lack. You see...

It Is Only I Who Can Justifiably Claim
The

Title OF The Supreme Alpha Shitweasel!

And guess what? As of today, the Alpha Shitweasel is
back! And being back, I've decided I want to give my vision
a treat in this newsletter. I want to publish something
that is a treat for my newly renovated eyes. So I've decided
to publish a breathtaking photo of my girlfriend. My son
Kevin took this photo and I never get tired of looking
at it. Here it is: