2005 - 08-11-05

# 2005 - 08-11-05

From:

North of Jewfish Creek

Dear Friend & Subscriber,

Something has happened recently that
will cause me the loss of an enormous amount of money.

And no, it wasn't the IRS, any
other governmental agency, or somebody sneaking into my house and
stealing the family jewels. Actually, I don't really have
any family jewels for somebody to steal. What I have been
robbed of is a chance I had to make a small fortune.

However, as you shall see before you finish
reading this letter, what is my loss is going to turn out to
be...

Very Decidedly YOUR Gain!

I'll get back to this later in this letter.
But right now I want to talk with you about something else.
I want to talk with you about...

BILLIONS!

Over the course of my career, I have
generated for myself and/or my clients billions of dollars
in revenue. I don't know exactly how much I have
generated but, for the sake of simplification, let's assume
it was only one billion dollars. A billion is a difficult
number to comprehend. But the next time you hear a
politician casually using the word "billion" think about
whether you want the politician spending your tax money. And
when I tell you I have generated more than a billion
dollars, I want to give you a few details which will help you
think about what that really means.

* A billion seconds ago it was 1959.

* A billion minutes ago Jesus was
alive.

* A billion hours ago our ancestors
were living in the Stone Age.

* A billion days ago no one walked on
two feet on earth.

* A billion dollars ago was only
8-hours and 20-minutes, at the rate our government spends
it.

If
you are a man and you had a billion wives all nagging you
at the same time, your brain would explode and you would die
in a fraction of a second. And, at any given time (like right now
for instance) there are more than a billion humans and other
animals having sex. Stop and think about that statement: At this very moment, there are
billions of creatures having sex and yet here you are... sitting
in front of a computer reading a newsletter written by a
shitweasel. Just think what that says about you and what a
loser you are. (Come to think of it, just think what that
says about me and how much of a loser I am.)