2005 - 11-14-05

I've been thinking about revealing all this
for almost eight years. I still am not 100% certain I want
to tell you all the secrets about the ad and the back story
that goes with it.

But I've made myself a deal.

Now all of you know the answer as to how
well the ad performed. None of you now have any excuse for
emailing me and pontificating idiotic reasons why the ad did
not work.

Here's what I want you to do: I want you to email me
immediately with your best guess as to WHY the ad did work... and...
performed so outstandingly it
was almost unbelievable.

If enough of my readers (and by "enough" I
mean almost ALL of them) email me their guesses about why
this ad worked so well... I will write another newsletter
this week and give you ALL of the answers in minute detail.
But let me tell you something you better believe. This is
me, Gary Halbert writing, and I'm not fooling around. If I
don't get an ENORMOUS amount of emails from my readers
guessing why the ad worked so well... and... if I don't get
those email responses almost immediately, I'm not going to
tell you the answers! I will take the secrets to my grave
and all of you can go piss up a rope making absurd guesses
about the ad for the rest of your pathetic lives.

Look, I don't mind you are all shitweasels.
In fact, as the Alpha Shitweasel, I'm rather proud of that.
However, I have no patience whatsoever with LAZY-MINDED
shitweasels. So, if you are too mentally lethargic to make
an immediate guess as to why the ad worked... don't send me
an email. If there are enough of you who don't email me...
none of you will ever know.

You know why from time to time I write a
"kick-the-anthill" newsletter like this?

I do it for the same reason a dog licks his
balls. It's because I can.

Sincerely,

Gary C. Halbert

"Supreme Master of Politically Correct Communications"