Elegant Solutions

Say you and your Evil Twin decide to create a company, and you
want it be dysfunctional and you want it to screw up everything it touches. Your
Evil Twin goes out to recruit all the people who will work for this company.
When he's finished you ask him, "Okay
Evil Twin, are all these individuals criminals and/or screw ups?"

Your Evil Twin replies, "Yes.
I know they all are criminals and/or screw ups... but... only 65% are
documented. That just means the other 35% haven't been caught yet."

He continues, "Look
at this: I've got 535 people to work for us. Seven have been arrested for fraud;
19 for writing bad checks; 71 of them have such lousy credit, they can't even
get a credit card; another 8 were handcuffed for shoplifting; 84 ended up in
jail for drunk driving; additionally, 29 were arrested for beating the living
shit out of their wives; 3 others did jail time for assault; and 14 have been
incarcerated on drug-related charges. That doesn't even take into account the
117 others who previously owned businesses which they forced into
bankruptcy."

He finishes by telling me, "Look
bro, I've selected 535 people to work for us and 352 of them are scumbags who
have been caught. That's almost two-thirds. So you know damn well, catching the
other 183 is just a matter of time. The entire bunch make...

"The Perfect
Group Of People To

Screw Up Everything
They Touch!"

And the Evil Twin was right... because... what I described with real
numbers (they are not fake) are the people who make up the United States
Congress. These are the folks who are telling us how to run our lives.
Just think how much more efficient everything is now: Whenever we feel like
being financially sodomized, misled, lied to, having our money stolen from us,
deceived, being led into a war, taxed unfairly, cheated, and so forth, we
have...

One Stop Shopping!

Enough!

There's another side to this coin: There are millions of good,
honest, creative, hard-working Americans with positive attitudes. These
are the people who make the world work. And do you know where you can find
them?