Modesty Personified

* My
methods are unusual, to say the least. Don't expect me
to slow down to a crawl just to make you comfortable.
When it comes to money, I go right for the jugular and,
if this takes you out of your comfort zone, you should
look in the Yellow Pages of your phone book under
"Advertising Agencies" and go ahead and waste your time
talking to one of those brilliant Ph.D.'s who'll be
happy to create a much more conventional (and totally
unprofitable) campaign for you.

* And,
I'm not looking for anyone who has to scrape up the
money to hire me. It puts way too much pressure on me to
know someone has bet their entire life's savings on me
producing a winner for them. And that, if it's not a
huge winner, they and their family will be reduced to
eating bark off trees.

*
Another thing, if you are hiring me to write a promotion
for you, I will want to get a lot of information from
you. But, you need to remember that once I have this
information, I will write what I think is the best sales
message and ask you to check it for factual accuracy.
But, I will NOT change the sales pitch I have created
just because you and/or your spouse (or someone else)
thinks the ad would work better if it were written
differently. There is an exception to this. If you,
yourself, have written sales pitches (as I have) that
have generated billions of dollars in profitable
revenue, then I will be interested in what you have to
say.

Remember, I am only one person and I can only do so much
work. So, if you are at all interested in hiring me and
becoming a client of mine ("for real"!) call me at (323) 851-8275. And, do it soon. If I'm not available to take
your call, simply leave your name and contact
information (phone number and best times to reach you)
and I'll return your call as soon as humanly possible..

One last thing. Actually, it's two last things. First,
I have a big advantage over every other copywriter.
See, my newsletter is the most widely read marketing
publication on earth. That means people all over the
globe are keeping me informed of the latest marketing
breakthroughs which I then use when I am crafting sales
messages for myself or my clients.