Modesty Personified

This deal is not for everyone. There are certain people
who shouldn't even think about calling me in response to
this offer. So please, if you fall into even one of the
following categories... do NOT contact me.

* I
don't want to waste one single second with somebody who
cannot afford my $15,000 upfront fee and/or thinks they
are going to be able to hire me at a discount.

*
Also, I don't want to talk with anyone who has to check
with anyone else as to whether or not they should hire
me. If you have to check with your lawyer, your
accountant, your spouse, your mommy or your daddy or
anyone else, just assume it wouldn't be a good idea and
don't waste my time.

* My
methods are unusual, to say the least. Don't expect me
to slow down to a crawl just to make you comfortable.
When it comes to money, I go right for the jugular and,
if this takes you out of your comfort zone, you should
look in the Yellow Pages of your phone book under
"Advertising Agencies" and go ahead and waste your time
talking to one of those brilliant Ph.D.'s who'll be
happy to create a much more conventional (and totally
unprofitable) campaign for you.

* And,
I'm not looking for anyone who has to scrape up the
money to hire me. It puts way too much pressure on me to
know someone has bet their entire life's savings on me
producing a winner for them. And that, if it's not a
huge winner, they and their family will be reduced to
eating bark off trees.

*
Another thing, if you are hiring me to write a promotion
for you, I will want to get a lot of information from
you. But, you need to remember that once I have this
information, I will write what I think is the best sales
message and ask you to check it for factual accuracy.
But, I will NOT change the sales pitch I have created
just because you and/or your spouse (or someone else)
thinks the ad would work better if it were written
differently. There is an exception to this. If you,
yourself, have written sales pitches (as I have) that
have generated billions of dollars in profitable
revenue, then I will be interested in what you have to
say.