Modesty Personified

* Many
people say you should include testimonials in all of
your sales pitches. Gary stopped collecting unsolicited
testimonial letters more than a decade ago after he had
already received over 7,000 of them! Now that he has the
most widely-read marketing newsletter on the Internet,
it would almost be impossible for him to buy enough ink
cartridges to print out all the rave testimonials he
gets on a daily basis.

Okay, those are just a few of the points I would make
about myself if I were writing an ad to pitch for
clients. But, probably the most important consideration
you should be aware of is... most of the time... I am
not willing to take on any clients. But, I am a little
bit "in heat" to work with a few clients now because I
have just made what I believe to be is a truly gigantic
marketing breakthrough. Everybody in marketing will know
about this breakthrough a year from now... but... it
will be old news by then. I believe it will work for
years to come. But, I think the first people to use it
are going to make money beyond their wildest dreams.

You know, I could write a more compelling sales letter
to you for my copywriting services. But frankly I'm
tired of writing about myself and this half-assed,
sloppy pitch is making me feel "funny". But, I do feel
moved to tell you another story.

I was recently contacted by a guy who said he had read
each and every issue of my newsletter on my website and
he was thinking about hiring me. He wondered if I would
send him a portfolio of ads I had written for other
people so he could evaluate whether or not I had enough
talent to work for him. I was NOT polite with this guy.
I told him something to the effect, "Look, if you've
really read all my newsletters, many of which include
examples of what I've written for other people, and you
are still in doubt as to whether you should hire me or
not, you are NOT a serious person." Actually, what I
said was much more profane than that. But, I see no need
to reprint it here.

This deal is not for everyone. There are certain people
who shouldn't even think about calling me in response to
this offer. So please, if you fall into even one of the
following categories... do NOT contact me.