2005 - 10-27-05

Melvin refused to test my ad. Melvin demanded his money back.

As you might guess, I told him to go piss up a rope. I'm not going to deal with anyone who thinks their marketing judgment is better than mine. So much so, they won't even test what I've created for them.

Well, it came to pass I was in Melvin's office while he was sitting at his desk almost apoplectic with a red face and veins so swollen, they looked like they were going to rupture and burst. He opened the top left hand drawer of his desk and reached in and grabbed with both hands a bundle of checks. He said, "Damn you Gary! You and your insane crazy idea! Look at this! This is all the bad checks I got using your stupid idea! You are absolutely out of your mind!"

To which I calmly replied, "Mel, let me ask you something. Were the ads that produced all those bad checks profitable?"

"Yes, they were," he replied.

"Well then," I thundered at him...

"You Should Wish You Had A Barn Full Of Those Checks!"

In a newsletter I wrote a long time ago, I talked about a man who sold information books on a COD (Cash On Delivery) basis. I told my readers how he had a 50% non-acceptance rate which meant he was only making $250,000 per week profit!

Try and understand this: The "game" (if you will) of direct marketing is all about psychology and arithmetic. If you understand human psychology (TRULY understand it) and you understand arithmetic... you will make a box car full of fungolas.