azdedislei specialreport

You check in. You're a non-smoker but, they mistakenly give you a room for smokers. You change rooms. But, the second room is not made up yet. You sit in the lobby for 2½ hours watch CNN vomit out the same news stories every 15 minutes.

Finally your room is ready. You carry your stuff upstairs and discover your plastic electronic key doesn't work. You trundle back down to the front desk and they apologize and re-mooglacize your key for you. You go back upstairs and this time, your key works.

You, being the anal-retentive guy you are, hang up all your clothes that are hangable, put the rest in drawers and neatly arrange your personal grooming stuff in the bathroom.

You call home. You tell your honey it was a routine trip. She tells you the water heater has broken, flooded the basement and the water is only 1½ feet away from your living room floor. The plumber is on his way over, but he wants $350 an hour for having to make a call at 1:30 a.m.. Your son, Josh came home with a nose ring and a tattoo that says “Hockey Players Don't Have Balls!”

And, oh yeah. Your boss needs that inventory report by 8:00 a.m. Instead of noon…which means…you won't get any sleep tonite.

You talk to your boss the next day and he has scheduled 7 extra appointments for you.

All of which translates to this: Since you got off that plane, 110,000 things have captured your attention…and…those pages you tore out of the SKYMALL magazine are forgotten and eventually crumpled and tossed into the 'round file……because…