2005 - 09-27-05

# 2005 - 09-27-05

From:

North of Jewfish Creek

Dear Friend & Subscriber,

Remember my very recent newsletter in the
envelope titled "Operation Moneysuck"?

And remember how I told you in that
newsletter, if you are in the direct marketing business, your merchant
account is the weakest link in your chain of success?

Well,
that newsletter prompted an almost immediate reply from one
of my readers. He gave me permission to reproduce his email
in my newsletter on the condition I would keep his name and
contact information private.

Here's his email:

Hi
Gary,

I just read
your letter about the difficulties in obtaining
a merchant account for a direct response
business. I don't know when you wrote this, but
my discovery of your message could not have been
more timely. Here's why:

On August 30,
I launched a new business {website URL was here}
and lined up some seriously big affiliate
partners for the initial launch. Sales took off
like mad. My merchant account provider did not
like this one bit, and held my funds pending
further investigation. Apparently $90k in sales
in about 5 days by a 24 year old with marginal
credit scared the crap out of them.

I was jerked
around by various incompetent morons for days
while my insanely profitable business was
withering, unable to accept payments.
Eventually, they notified me that they did not
want to do business with me and would be closing
my account, and holding my money for 9 months.

The reason:
"They do not support my 'business type.'"

In a desparate
move I switched over to Paypal, but they killed
me after only about another $20k in orders.

I actually now
have my Paypal account back but I'm afraid to do
any decent volume at all, and I have told all of
my affiliate partners to back off. (A great
message to send - "Hey, don't make us money!
Stop it!")

For the past
three weeks I have been talking to countless
people who supposedly specialize in "high risk"
and "high volume" merchant accounts yet can't
seem to get anything together. US, UK, offshore,
the whole nine yards. I've submitted (quite
literally) hundreds of pages of bullshit forms,
photocopies, paperwork and questionnaires to
various banks and stupid brokers.

This business
can and will do *at least* $500k+ per month in
sales when I have a solid merchant bank to back
it up and I can actually start promoting the
damn thing.

The money
faucet is ready to be turned on, but it's hell
finding someone to process the credit cards. The
whole business and product is totally, 100%,
absolutely legit. I'm selling turnkey websites
at $497 a pop that allow people to make money by
(very ironically) getting people to apply for
credit cards. They get a completely designed
credit card directory website all set up and
ready to go out of the box, and they earn $40 to
$50 for every credit card application that gets
filled out through their site.

The sales
letter is converting like mad: 2% conversion
ratio on a $500 product (using some techniques I
learned from you by the way - thanks.)

Check it out:

{website URL was
here}

Anyway Gary,
clearly I'm looking for your "goldmine" credit
card guy. So if what I've said has at all gotten
your interest in giving me "The Halbert Seal Of
Approval", get in touch with me as soon as you
can.

Hey Cupcake, how do you like them apples?
This man's situation is NOT unusual. If you are in direct
marketing in a significant way, I can almost promise...

This Will Happen To You!

I don't care if you've had a merchant
account in good standing for 30 years. I don't care if you
are the mayor of the town you live in. I don't care if
you're such a lily-white citizen you've never had a parking
ticket. It WILL happen to you.

All I'm saying is, do the
best you can to get ready for it. Do the best you can to
cover your ass. It might be a smart thing for you to do to
read my newsletter "Operation Moneysuck" again.

And now, on a happier note, I'm going to
reproduce another email I received which tends to illustrate
my son, Bond, truly does have more wisdom than his father.
(The little shit is not as smart as his old man... but... he
does have more wisdom.) Here's another email I received from
another of my newsletter readers:

Gary,

You told us to
personally help Katrina's victims in addition
to donating to charities. Just so you know,
your son's story inspired me. Last week, I
read this story of the University of New
Orleans women's swim team and how they lost
everything. When I read their story, I
determined I would help; therefore I contacted
their coach. They needed running shoes (among
many other needs), so I brokered a donation
from my athletic company to her team (to be
blunt, I was prepared to dip into my own pocket
if I wasn't able to work it out).

It was a
no-brainer; it was easy to help. I told the
coach because she needed something specific,
athletic-related, and because I was able to
help, I was more than willing to do so. Others
can donate whatever, like canned goods (which
is important), but who do you know KNOWS that
you work where you work for a reason, at the
right place at the right time?

Gary, one girl
got problems with her student visa and customs
and such. She was just thankful to be in
America even though she lost EVERYTHING. The
coach told me another only had flip-flops. Can
you imagine that? Another was fixing to go
back to her home country, but her mom said
America offers her hope; therefore she should
stay. All but one are freshman; they're just
kids and they have to grow up so fast. Did you
(I ask this in the general-sense, not specific)
ever face any trials like this when you were
18? How could I say no to them?

Well, I wanted
to let you know personally how easy it is to
make an impact on others when all it took was
NOT throw money at the problem and hope it
doesn't go away, but just creatively and
thoughtfully impacting others. Gary, these
girls could still use help, so let me know...

Sincerely,

Jason

Okay, I know this is a short newsletter but
I had to get it out fast because... believe it or not...
I've got a big day ahead of me. You know what I get to do
today?

I Get To Go Have A Root Canal Done!

One last thing, this is my second newsletter
of this week. The first one went on this website yesterday
was about the "Gary Halbert Seal Of Approval". Don't be a
dummy, make sure you've read both these issues.

Sincerely,

Gary C. Halbert

P.S. I now really do believe when it comes to charity, it
should be given out from human to human. NOT human to
government to human. NOT human to organization to human.
But, plain old human to human. Person to person. If you want
to help people, find a specific person, family or group and
go give your money or whatever else you're giving DIRECTLY
to them.

By the way, I recently read an article about how the huge
amount of money the Red Cross has received in the last month
has paralyzed that organization.

To hell with everything. I'm going to go get my pain.

Peace.